On repressing

"People who are constantly repressing, not transcending, feelings toward a higher meaning find that it affects the quality of their self-esteem..."      ~ Steven Covey

      Project: Live.

     If there was such contest as having the longest patience, I might be a candidate. I showed anger in silence. Worse, in tears. I never had confrontations. In debates, I lose. Chagrined by a lot of disappointments on the past years, I never thought I kept a lot of them now that flashbacks of untold letdowns keep creeping in... all still hidden because of fears of being laughed at, contradicted, or that someone changes the topic again because dramas from me, as I see him perceive it, is overrated. That was when I lost my self-esteem.

     The first time I revealed every disappointment, every anger, every truth... the world came crashing down in a blink of an eye. I wanted a listener. Instead, I met a neglector guffawing at every word I thought can mend the bruises.

     Now the dilemma comes in. Should silence keep its place, or let confessing have its toll?

     Here is when the answer "eh kasi... wala lang." takes its role - it saves you from the possible judgment of the judging, and the silence one deserves.